so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
