somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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