My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
