But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
