I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
