I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
