I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
