sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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