Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
