I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
