if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
