and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
