Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
His hands were made for my vagina.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
