I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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