do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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