I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
