He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
