my mouth tastes like poor choices
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
