I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
