im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
