His pubic hair was longer than his dick
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
