so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
