Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
