The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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