everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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