I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I need a beard to bite.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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