Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
