dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
