Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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