Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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