Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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