Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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