During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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