I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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