I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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