i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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