U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
