you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
the room spins SO much faster in panama
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
