if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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