Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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