aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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