we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
