You smell like stripper and shame
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
