Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
