yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
