try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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