You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
