He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
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