my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Are we still banned from the library?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
