Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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