i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
