I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
ugly people sure do ruin things
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
