life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
