dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
