Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
