Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
